Winter Wonder-what?

Remember the joy you felt as a kid waiting expectantly at the crack of dawn for updates to the Winter Advisory?  303, 303, 303, 303!  I chanted my school number as a mantra – hoping and praying as fervently as I could to the snow gods to close my school.

Ah, those were the days – snow angels, hot chocolate, pelting snow balls and icy soaked mittens that sent chills through my body when I tried to pull them off with my teeth.

So what happened?  Well, not to state the obvious, but I grew up, had kids of my own and became an overworked, stressed out, doing-too-much work-from-home mompreneur.  And somehow, on a day like today, I feel I’ve lost my way and lost perspective.

Today, I wanted to take the day off, like my kids were able to do, marvel at the sun glinting off the freshly piled snow and search the internet for fun Winter craft ideas.  But instead I felt pulled to manage the three conference calls, respond to a plethora of email and work on the projects that I am far behind on already.  So instead of channelling my favorite non-Biblical matriarchs Betty Crocker, Barbara Billingsley, Martha Stewart and Ok, yes, Lauren Graham, I ended up feeling more like a cross between Hitchcock’s Mrs. Bates and Joan Crawford.

How did I get here?  Who is this cranky pajama clad mother who regrets that she gave up caffeine three years ago?  Sure I have work to do – I always do (according to my kids), but was it so much to ask of my little darlings (almost 8 & 10) to let me work quietly for a while?  The rest of the time they could run amok.  And run amok they did, just not outside in the lovely foot-high snow.  So my beseeching them to entertain themselves turned into shrill demands and then finally the “I’m-about-ready-to-pull-my-hair-out” blood pressure raising screams (quick get the hangers away from me before I do something rash).

Why is it so difficult, this juggling act?  A simple response, sometimes it is harder to do than it looks but wait, it is hard and I honor all of us who attempt to do our best day in and day out.  Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fall short.   On days like today, I am reminded once again, that I am just human, just a mom trying the best I can to balance it all.    I can’t make today better but thankfully, the snow will still be there tomorrow and I’ll bet ya’, I can still remember how to make a darned good snow angel.

2 Responses to Winter Wonder-what?
  1. Jill Schantz
    January 23, 2011 | 9:50 am

    Oh Shira….I definitely think you were outside my house looking in at me behaving the same way as you my dear! I was doing the balancing act as well and kept thinking “work from home” …what a lovely concept….work at home and be with the kids and have it all…NOT QUITE! It’s more like…TRY to work at home while either yelling or ignoring the kids…and getting more and more frustrated that you can’t feel productive and wondering why you don’t just work “OUT OF THE HOME” and be able to be the Woman Adult at Work and come home and be the Mom Adult at Home….maybe a separation is what keeps some women sane and balanced???? I don’t think there is a definite answer…I just agree with you that if at the end of the day we can just say that we did our best and we can always improve tomorrow…then…we did our best! Maybe next snow day…we can just totally “take the day off and just be kids with our kids” That would be fun! Thanks for being real and letting us know we are all human and need do be more as HUMAN BEINGS…than HUMAN DOINGS! (I did get rid of all the wire hangers from my closets…just to be on the safe side!)

    • Diva-Mama
      January 28, 2011 | 11:15 am

      Thanks Jill, for your empathy and encouragement! I especially LOVE your comment about Human Being more than Human Doing! What a great reminder. I may need to do a follow-up on that line alone. Stay tuned for more real life meets real mama drama!

      Stay safe and warm!

      Light and love,
      Shira

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